by Patrick Devlin
With the threat of another governmental shutdown teed up this week, President Trump may be planning to spend some unpaid-furlough time (meaning, unpaid for his paycheck-to-paycheck earning federal employees) hiding away from his job and playing golf…in the presidential mansion.


While flying to one of his many golf clubs with golf clubs in hand may be difficult if air traffic controlling gets furloughed along with the air traffic controllers, Trump will be able to fall out of bed and roll over to do his pre-shot routine before his new room-sized computer golf simulation machine, which he just had installed in the White House (costing around $50,000). The super-fancy golf video game is located just a few short waddles from Trump’s TVs, which will leave him plenty of time to fly off the handle from his twitter handle while doubling down on some McDoubles, as his demanding schedule demands, instead of wasting time flying back and forth to Mar a Lago.

Upon first glance the outlandish purchase appears to be a Trump-esque bogey, but the backspin is that Trump was simply up-dating the golf simulator that Barack Obama ordered to be installed in the luxury executive mansion known as the White House during his presidential tenure. Though many liberal leaning newsy folks took a flap-shot at Trump, hoping that his demand for a fancy golf simulation room would highlight the current president’s tantrums for tee times, the fact is that Obama too felt the need to supply himself with a similar super-fancy do-nothing do-hickey, although it is unclear if Obama installed his video game during the government shutdown that he presided over in 2013.

Who Knows, maybe Obama lost the “comfortable shoes” that he claimed that he was going to put on and join picket lines with teachers and other unionists when he ran for office the first time in the room containing the room-sized classist contraption. No worries there; by his second campaign it was clear that Obama would rather play a round of golf than fight for the contractually guaranteed rights of hard working union members.

Although the creators of the self-indulgency system state that Trump, Obama, or whichever president uses their expensive room-sized video game, will “work smarter”, ‘learn faster” and develop “effective communication”, it appears as though Trump has not applied himself as he could have. Just this week found Trump praising himself for building a wall that is not being built, disparaging America’s dogs and dog owners and claiming that Christian evangelicals helped “abolish civil rights”.

It is true that these examples of ineffective communication may reflect the president’s general confusion or perhaps reveal that he, like scads of his flakey followers, is simply a “poorly educated” boob, but, history has demonstrated that Donald Trump has a keen ability to skilfully shoot a fluffy lie on every fairway.