by Patrick Devlin

ahhh..the inexplicablity to regular dullards of the complex nature of constitutional protections that have no meaning or application “if you only knew what we know and how much we are protecting y’all”

its just those plain ‘ol super human thought processes only accessible to the but now are super.humans because lesser party hacks voted for them

gwbush : “I asked the White House counsel’s office and the Justice Department to study whether I could authorize the NSA to monitor al Qaeda communications into and out of the country without FISA warrants…Both told me I could. They concluded that conducting surveillance against our enemies in war fell within the authorities granted by the congressional war resolution and the constitutional authority of the commander in chief…Before I approved the Terrorist Surveillance Program, I wanted to ensure there were safeguards to prevent abuses. I had no desire to turn the NSA into an Orwellian Big Brother. The Terrorist Surveillance Program had been carefully designed to protect the civil liberties of innocent people.”

bobama : “In the abstract you can complain about Big Brother and how this is a potential program run amok, but when you actually look at the details, I think we’ve struck the right balance…You can’t have 100 percent security and also then have 100 percent privacy and zero inconvenience…We’re going to have to make some choices as a society … There are trade-offs involved.”

I remember that part of the constitution that said party hacks can disregard the constitutional rights that I think are available to me to protect myself from the deranged despotism of party.hacks cum neo-fascists

– its right there under the “trade offs involved” article of the constitution…google it!

and, I don’t want any folks ‘roud rancho bernardo mistaking my intent here – I am NOT comparing gwbush’s strain of indefensible corporate/militaristic civil society destroying activities to the indefensible corporate/militaristic civil society destroying activities of bobama !! no-sir…if y’all think that just consider this : i really really think that obama has a wonderful smile, and i realize that if i do not support corporate hegemony and the imperial militarism required to enforce it that I must some kind of koran reading sparkleponypoopmuncher.

HAHA LMFAO those sparkleponypoopmunchers are realy funny HAHA can hardly keep down that bite of balsamic infused sot la trape I’m noshing ’bout now

Anyhoo – all this talk about ‘not believing our elected leaders (who have been shown over and over to be unabashedly lying)’ and ‘protecting our freedoms by destroying them’ and all the calling out of them sparkleponypoopmunchers who simply do not understand the necessity of ‘protecting our homeland’ (after our killing more than 100,000 innocent civilians in just one of our current undeclared wars ~ read : illegal invasions under the geneva conventions) reminds me of an incident that myself and mrs.acmerecords experienced first hand that really really made me glad that I have relinquished my capacity for critical thinking and delivered myself as a naked new-born infant into the hands of our dear.protecting.surveillance.addicted.drone.shooting.democratic.hero –

After finishing a quite delicious meal at our local smith and wollensky steak house where me and mrs.acmerecords shared a wonderful dry aged 48 oz porterhouse (for 2) we decided to make a little pilgrimage to our city’s federal building to just look on in awe at the building in our town that houses the types of folks who understand as we will never be able to that we must give up our rights if we are going to keep the ponypoopmunching islamacists from breeching the fortifications of our great land of commercial (nee constitutional) rights -and maybe take a few pictures to display on our facebook pages –and, when we turned the corner on Monroe, we were met with the troublesome sight of maybe 500 swarthy individuals (who were by my estimation largely of Latino – as opposed to Arabic extraction, based upon the various statues of Christ and Mother Mary that they were fondling and carrying about – but remember, as bobama’s joint chief sez, there is a fundamental and un-American connection between Latin Americans and islamacist.terror plotters that has to be recognized and dealt with that has something to do with cannabis, or something) who were all up-in-arms and shouty and marching around and singing songs and making speeches – a regular Arab-spring kind of up-rising right here in the city center of my town.

Shocked to the foundations of my and mrs.acmerecords porterhouse stuffed probosci, I turned to one of the hundered or so gentle and helpful policeman on the scene (who was decked out in full body armor, carried a hundred plastic hand cuffs and had a very useful protective helmet and face protecting shield) who informed me that the group of crazy ‘rights demanders’ had gathered in Chicago on what is known around the world as ‘international workers day’ that commemorates an incident that happened right here in chi-town called the Haymarket Riot (in 1886)– where a bomb was thrown by a still-to-this-day unknown terrorist that killed some terrorists and some police – and thankfully, the leaders of the protesterrorists –who were not actually at the event – were executed – Can you imagine? A ‘holiday’ celebrating terrorists and common workers? I do declare ..thank god for the protections that our sainted secular elected official enacted as laws just last year to protect our fragile democracy from the opinions of protestors… I mean, haven’t these ponypoopmunchers ever heard of Labor Day?? And all of this allegedly happened to secure the eight hour work day (made law in the US in 1937) – and, all of this happened in the ‘home town’ of our dear leader?!? Can you ever think of Mrobama saying that he’s a-gonna-put-on-his-marching-shoes to support unionized workers if collective bargaining is ever threatened on his watch – to, you know, protest for worker.terrorist rights? I mean- really you gots to be crazy to think something like that – Obama? A protesterrorist ponypoopmuncher – – hello… bizzaro world, folks!

Apparently these ‘protestors’ had not yet received the message that ‘trade-offs’ must be made for our collective protection that eliminate what we have been otherwise informed are ‘inalienable rights’ – because they were carrying around placards with pictures of our dear.spymaster.child.incinerating.leader.bobama with words on them like “war criminal”, “liar” “as bad as bush” etc (downright glenn.greenwald of those rabble) rousing themselves into a ‘I demand civil rights and equal protection’ frenzy that our hard working (and brutal to be sure – but understandably under-protected and under-armed) city police could not possibly handle on their own.

Thank god that my town is led by that fantastic protector of corporate wealth Rahm Emmanuel (formerly in bobama’s white house as the guy who was formally tasked with calling sparkleponypoopmunchers “retards”) because this staunch protector of our had the foresight to call on bobama’s department of homeland uber-security goon squad to ensure that these un-American americans don’t get too exorcised trying to exercise their mis-perceived “constitutional right” to petition the government with grievances – can’t have that in a free (unless we trade off our freedoms to quell our anxiety over amorphous ‘threats’) country like America. And the good folks at the CTA were kind enough to provide buses to carry-off protestors who became too noisy to lock them up safely out of sight in one of our city’s very own ‘black site prisons’.

Although me and mrs.acmerecords quivered mightily at the strange site in modern America of citizens who have the temerity to stand up against corporate fascism – the presence of the homeland-goon squad was comforting and reassuring…to simply know that our.dear.leaderS are vigilant in protecting the rights that mrs.acmerecords and me can afford (which have not yet been ‘traded away’) made me proud to be paying my tax dollars in support of those red white and blue goons (who by the way were tethered by a secure chain to a snarling and foamy mouthed attack dog – or should I say snarling and foamy mouthed protector of my god-given and not yet traded away right to not become aware of criticisms and challenges to our dear.drone.dealing.spy.king and our corporate constructed paradise of rights – if y’all can afford them)

Anyhoo, good thing is I found out that the pot-banging and rights clamoring rabble did not make a difference – in my town or my country ..whew! No unions for low wage workers! No citizen rights for taxpaying workers! No end to imperial wars! And best of all… all the people in rancho bernado can sleep easy knowing that the idea of a ‘living wage’ is still sparkleponypooponaplate !! Almost turned into a shria-law state or some ponypoopmunching utopia or something.

God rest ye well, stormtrooping homeland security goons for protecting me from those dangerous religious song singing people who have different ideas from my own, rahm who protects us every day from the ‘retards’ who dine on sparkleponypoop and our dear.protector for understanding the complex set of trade-offs contemplated (but never actually expressed) by our founding fathers. We may not know why our freedoms have to be removed for our safety – but we can be certain that terror.protestors will again (on May 1) stand around on street corners mouthing ponypoopdreams and wiping sparklepony dung from their chins as they are securely surrounded by a phalanx of body-armored real americans ready to place their “billy club to the fucking skull” in support of our beautiful American freedom to participate in structured commerce.